Have you ever wanted something so badly that the wanting itself became part of the pleasure? Now that I’m in my fifties, I've finally realized my favorite pieces are the ones I courted.
I wanted to share my courting method with you. It starts with collecting. Photos, screenshots of pieces I love, that I save in albums on my phone. Over time, I reorder them, moving my favorites to the top and deleting the ones that no longer catch me. I study fit, proportion, and detail until I know exactly what I'm looking for.
Last April, I went down a rabbit hole searching for a Panama hat. It started with a photo of Victoria Beckham at Cannes, wearing one with an ease that stopped me. Something about it was alluring. That's when the hunt began.
I researched Panama hats for over a month. I was fascinated to learn that the weaving tradition itself is close to 500 years old. I learned about Ecuador, the coastal town of Montecristi, and the Andean city of Cuenca, and about the weavers who work only in the early morning or evening, since the heat of midday makes their fingers sweat and the straw harder to control. The finest hats, called Montecristi Superfinos, can take up to six months of work for a single hat.
A colleague shared her go-to hat shop. Over the course of a month, I browsed the site, bookmarked my favorites, and read reviews. When they offered a discount, I finally purchased one. It arrived after two weeks, and it was disappointing. The weave was coarse, nothing like the photos online. When I reached out, they offered me ten percent off to keep it, or I could pay to ship it back. They lost a customer for life.
I needed a break from the hunt, so I let myself get lost in hats of a different kind. Angelina Jolie in a wide brim sun hat in By the Sea. A wool felt boater hat in Maria. I was captivated by the stories, costumes and styling.
Coming back, I searched Net-a-porter, Moda Operandi and Farfetch, all trusted sites this time. Beyond the product pages, their styling stories drew me in. Editors pairing a Panama hat with linen trousers and a crisp white shirt for a weekend in the south of France. A hat worn low over sunglasses with a slip dress for golden hour on a terrace. I wasn't just picturing the hat anymore, I was picturing a whole life around it.
However, I wanted to try one on before I bought it. I had already searched everywhere in Toronto, and found mostly wide brim and bucket hats. So I waited.
I had planned a trip to New York with my son, to catch a Yankees game in August. So I researched specialty hat stores there, and that's how I found JJ Hat Center, a premier destination for fine hats. I wish I had taken photos in the store, but my phone died after the baseball game. So I'll describe my shopping experience instead. The iconic Fifth Avenue store has a rich sartorial heritage, and the staff were gracious and knowledgeable. First, they measured my head to get the size. I tried on a few styles in different weaves. After an hour, I chose the Traveller Panama, crafted in Italy from fine Panama straw in a grade seven to eight weave, which takes up to two weeks to make by hand.
Every hat starts as a single, uninterrupted spiral of toquilla straw, woven from the crown outward without a single seam.
I loved the shape, a slightly sloping brim and a beautifully indented crown. Lightweight, with a cotton lining that made it perfect for high summer.
The hunt was long, but the find gave me something I cherish. With the scorching summer heat in Toronto this year, this Panama hat has been in constant rotation.
If you catch yourself wanting something badly, try holding it in mind. Let the resistance build. Let yourself yearn, get curious, do your research. Choose over time with intent. Let the wanting be part of your discovery. That is what courting is.
Try it and let me know how the courting method works for you.